Why Men Can’t Stand to Be Alone After a Breakup or a Divorce | NYTimes.com

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Why Men Can’t Stand to Be Alone After a Breakup or a Divorce | NYTimes.com.

“Men are hard-wired to feel danger all the time. I know there must be science around somewhere to back up this assertion, but seriously, that’s what makes a man a man. A man is on guard because that is his job. […] Being alone feels dangerous to a man. No one has your back. No one feeds you. No one nurses you in your sickbed. No one takes up a watch if you vanish or sends out a search party if you wander off the trail. The world is dangerous enough without adding the dangers that come of being alone.

Women do not walk around alert for danger. Nor do we feel that being alone is dangerous, except in the rare instances when we fall and crack our tailbones. Women are hard-wired to read the signals that keep us from danger, and, when confronted by trouble, we escape, fleeing into our homes. In fact, I have observed that women who have escaped loudly troubled marriages often feel safer when they are alone.

To a woman, being home feels safe. We love our nests. We tend them, and in exchange we expect them to keep us snug and warm and serene and safe. Which, generally, they do. Because nests are reliable. […] Suddenly, everything I learned in the ’70s seemed refreshingly clear-eyed. A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

Now I understand why a man needs marriage like a fish needs water.”

She has a very interesting point.  Read the whole article if you can; basically comparing the differences between men’s innate needs and women’s innate needs to prove her theory correct that women don’t need men as much as men need women.

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