I wish I wish I wish I could remember where I heard the advice “do not compliment the girls on their height, their hair, etc., because that basically shows them you are only interested in their physical appearance…”
But it. is. so. true.
Overly-showering someone with compliments turns into a two-edged sword, particularly in light of my previous post called “Addicted to Lipo”. As this current article states:
“Teaching girls that their appearance is the first thing you notice tells them that looks are more important than anything. It sets them up for dieting at age 5 and foundation at age 11 and boob jobs at 17 and Botox at 23. As our cultural imperative for girls to be hot 24/7 has become the new normal, American women have become increasingly unhappy. “
Who wants that!?
I don’t think ignoring their looks is the answer, but I do think wording is particularly important. We were all children at one point, I am sure that comment / compliment / remark from Ms. Whoever or Mr. Soandso that you overheard (or were directly told!) sticks out in your mind to this day. Kids remember things. They have a lot less cluttering up their brain than we do and arguably, it’s what they remember from their younger years that really begin to define how they think of themselves.
I’d be interested to hear others’ thoughts on this.